Into the Woods

There is nothing I like better than to be in the woods. Especially when it's damp. And especially with people I love. I think it's the breathing, looking, hearing, and feeling which is so raw and unadorned that brings everything back to center for me.

Alongside Grandma and Grandpa we foraged, took a few new trails and climbed high looking for the view. We found it under a tall stand of eucalyptus and it was wonderful. It was the damp shoes and pant legs that finally drove us home where we got back in our cozy hibernating clothes and had dinner.

I'll Take Wimsy

I stumbled onto the site of Johanna Murphy purely by accident, and every time I peek at her illustrations they warm my heart and tickle my funny bone. And I will say, after being in escrow for going on six weeks, my funny bone needs a little tickling. I don't want to gallop ahead of the whole process and say "we got it" until I've got the keys in my hands. Although I will say "we're really close!"

So close I've started to pack.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fungus

I'll tell you, Annie has a sixth sense when it comes to sniffing out mushrooms. She has an eagle eye and a "sense" about where they are. This one wasn't hidden at all though, it was in plain sight growing in a front yard down the street near the Kung Fu studio she attends. It was one of three, this one being the biggest. It measures 5" wide and 5 1/2" high, and I'm guessing it weighs the same as a package of butter which is a pound. It has a wonderful earthy smell and it is perfect for eating at this time. I think sauteing it and making a wonderful soup with it is the way to go, except that Billy refuses to have any of us eat it until it is identified properly. All my books show it and describe it as a Giant Puffball. Any one out there want to second my identification? Michelle?

Coming Back From the Dark Side

I finally feel some lightening from the dark, introspective and lethargic place that I've been traveling through. I really had to push myself to move through each day with some focus and purpose. Of course Annie is a wonderful companion, even through the dark side. On those days where staying in bed and watching TV seemed the best course, she's perfectly willing. Some days our biggest accomplishment was dressing and walking up to the corner store. As a home schooling parent, I see that I pressure myself to be a consistent, upbeat and enthusiastic person. But the reality for me is that sometimes I'm confused, or sad or frustrated and that is how it feels for me to be human! I'm wanting to be honest with Annie and show her that life, as I experience it, is very textured and prismatic. Maybe as she encounters the full spectrum of feelings in her life, especially the challenging parts, she will remember the ebbs and flows of my journey, and trust, maybe even value the times that feel challenging, rather than fear and judge them as I notice that I can do.

That said, one thing that has been really exciting for Annie, and for Bill and I lately, is Kung Fu! Annie watched her friend Johnny in his class and decided to do it too. The staff is fantastic with kids and they teach in Mandarin, so she is right at home! She is now taking it three days a week and would take it everyday if we could swing it. It's so exciting to see her work at something she loves! We've also been venturing out between rain storms to hunt for mushrooms, we're sewing new jammies together (kinda frustrating for me), and we felted a men's Irish sweater and transformed it into a great coat for Annie. I've been taking photo's. I just need to download them and post them now. Ahh! It feels good to be back!

New Years Re-Do!

You may recall my last post telling (well, mourning more like) of my solo New Years hike. I'm happy to say that today Annie and Billy went with me to retrace my steps that I took New Years Day. Once Annie had seen the ladybug and mushroom photos that I took on my hike, she said "I would have gone if I knew it was going to be so beautiful!" I knew Bill was interested in checking it out too. It was a beautiful, beautiful opportunity to explore and we timed it perfectly between these California storms. The ladybugs were still there, and we saw an astounding amount of mushrooms sprouting in the damp, cold and alive forest. Ahhhhhhhhh! Really, I think I'm most content when we are together! It could be anywhere, and being outdoors and exploring with them both is pretty close to Nirvana to me. Both Bill and Annie have eyes for spotting life! With each find Annie would cry "This is a magic forest" or "Thank you earth!" I was in perfect bliss and I'm still feeling the effects of our experience tonight! Thanks for the comments both here and through email! I felt supported and cared about.

Mmmmmmm.
Love that!

Where Fairies and Ladybugs Spring Forth

In the hills overlooking the bay, on New Years Day I spotted this fountain of ladybugs in a decaying log and I was so thrilled! I guess it's not that unusual, but to me I felt like I had found a mysterious fountain of magic and fairies. I hiked with Jasper through the hills, going from dry chaparral, to moist redwoods, and through groves of eucalyptus. I was hiking alone because Bill and Annie wanted to sloth around the house, and I felt very argumentative about it and weepy. So I went alone. Well, except for Jasper. He led the way, never going too far from me, always turning around to see where I was. Love him. It was mushroom madness up in the Oakland hills! I think I spotted more varieties of mushrooms than I've ever spotted in one hike before. It felt wonderful to just breath and to walk in the woods.

Other than that, this is at least the third draft I've started in as many days for this post and blah, blah, blah. I'm not focused at all. What am I wanting to say?? A bunch of stuff that feels important, and nothing tangible at all. I'm struggling within about all matters...creative, domestic, existential, and anything else you can come up with. I'm not finding pleasure in the places I usually do. Even my blog isn't lighting me up as it usually does. My solution? Going very gently with myself (my mother would be proud), and giving myself a break, trying to have fun and not panic. I know clarity will come, and until then I will not add to my suffering.

Keep it Simple

You'd think as we near the four-day-before-we-move mark that food would become incredibly simple around here. Nope. For some reason as the stress builds my dear Bill cooks more complicated and wonderful meals than normal. Not to say that he doesn't always exceed my expectations (and need) everyday with his cooking, but tonight he made the most delicate and wonderful lamb dish, with an incredible reduction poured over the top, luscious mashed potatoes, and steamed asperagras on the side. So amazing! The photo above is of a dish from a few days ago that was so pretty in the preparation that I had to run in with my camera! These beauties became a sherry-mushroom concoction that was pure heaven. If you're reading this darling, thank you!

A Completed Trip Around The Sun

We went for a long walk today in the hills looking for mushrooms and for owl pellets. We found a lot of both. I was amazed with my mushroom finds! I found bigger and more exotic one's than I've ever found before. Annie found a small rodent jaw bone and a part of a rodent spine in an owl pellet. (That's owl vomit.) I'm not as interested in the vomit, but Annie and Bill seem happy to hunt for it. We must have walked close to two miles and Annie didn't ask to be carried at all! Wow! Maybe we are once again a family that can hike together. Wouldn't that be great?
So now we are starting another trip around the sun, are we? Couldn't any day be the first day of a new trip around the sun though? I'm such a non-conformist. I'll decide when and how I want to mark my time, celebrate, feel renewed. So there.

The Fungus Among Us

We've been going out in search of mushrooms and we've been finding them! All three of us love the thrill of the hunt. Mostly we've been taking pictures as our "trophies" and to try and identify them with. Even though I really love eating mushrooms, I just don't think I could enjoy eating wild one's on the off chance that they were misidentified (by myself or someone else). Maybe someday... Tomorrow we will go to a special spot and continue our search. And soon it will be the Fungus Fair on January 13th and 14th 2007 here in town.

Darkest Night

Today is really the day that feels most like a special holi-day to me. It love how today, and especially tonight, symbolized moving from the darkest time, back into the light. I've been feeling the darkness both internally and externally so this Solstice brings to me the promise of light and life and new growth. Late yesterday Annie and I and some dear friends took a tour of the USCS Shakespeare Theater where we saw a production of Sleeping Beauty recently. We really enjoyed both the play and the tour. After the tour all of the kids went running off in the darkness under the trees hoopin' and hollerin'! Can you see the light silhouettes of them there under the limb of the tree? I couldn't help but see them as earth's children celebrating the darkness and the light in the foggy lamplight. I snapped some shots of them and and some of the fungus growing underneath the recently-rained-on oaks we saw on our way in. Warm wishes everyone for peace and joy!

This mushroom measured about 7" wide across at the cap! Plus, there were a bunch of them!
Michelle, any ideas as to identification??

Soup Swap

My dear friend and neighbor Sara and I are doing a Soup Swap. One week I make a big pot of soup and I share it with her and her family. The next week she does the same and shares it with us. I started it off with a Black Bean Soup from Nourishing Traditions and she just followed up with a Dill Barley Mushroom Soup from Moosewood. Mmmmm. I had the last of hers last night. It was so delicious. I think what makes this Soup Swap work is that we live so close and that we have similar tastes in food. Love you Sara!

(That's Ninja-Ezra below protecting the liquid gold!)