Thursday, January 31, 2008

Coming Back From the Dark Side

I finally feel some lightening from the dark, introspective and lethargic place that I've been traveling through. I really had to push myself to move through each day with some focus and purpose. Of course Annie is a wonderful companion, even through the dark side. On those days where staying in bed and watching TV seemed the best course, she's perfectly willing. Some days our biggest accomplishment was dressing and walking up to the corner store. As a home schooling parent, I see that I pressure myself to be a consistent, upbeat and enthusiastic person. But the reality for me is that sometimes I'm confused, or sad or frustrated and that is how it feels for me to be human! I'm wanting to be honest with Annie and show her that life, as I experience it, is very textured and prismatic. Maybe as she encounters the full spectrum of feelings in her life, especially the challenging parts, she will remember the ebbs and flows of my journey, and trust, maybe even value the times that feel challenging, rather than fear and judge them as I notice that I can do.

That said, one thing that has been really exciting for Annie, and for Bill and I lately, is Kung Fu! Annie watched her friend Johnny in his class and decided to do it too. The staff is fantastic with kids and they teach in Mandarin, so she is right at home! She is now taking it three days a week and would take it everyday if we could swing it. It's so exciting to see her work at something she loves! We've also been venturing out between rain storms to hunt for mushrooms, we're sewing new jammies together (kinda frustrating for me), and we felted a men's Irish sweater and transformed it into a great coat for Annie. I've been taking photo's. I just need to download them and post them now. Ahh! It feels good to be back!


Anonymous said...

Being busy seems to have helped! Keep on keeping up.

Ulla said...

Patrice! How wonderful your blog is... I love that you are digging out of your hole with Annie. Children and pets have a way of making us realize how important life really is... I am adding your blog to my list, so I can come back and visit you more often.
Blessings and thank you for your comment on mine.

Project Pink Suitcase said...

Being sick never helps the mood.
I'm sick right now, so basic things seem like a chore. Usually I love sleep, but with a stuffy nose, my sleep is not so good.
Anyway, I'm glad to hear you are doing fun adventures with Annie.