Monday, February 5, 2007

Black & White Weekend



Extreme pleasure to excruciating pain.



Safety and comfort, to total fear and insecurity.



Saturday night Bill and I stayed up late and watched an old Robert Altman movie in bed, talking, laughing and enjoying some alone time. We both fell asleep around 2:00 AM. By 4:30 AM he woke me up with his face completely ashen and swollen, his whole mannerism grave and troubled, describing symptoms that sounded really bad. Bloated abdomen, screaming pain from his ribs to his groin, and the inability to move his bowels, urinate or vomit...and a great desire to do all three. This coming from a man that has not taken a sick day in fifteen years of work and hardly a cold or flu since we married. We were in the emergency room minutes later. It took almost three hours and three doses of morphine for him to experience some relief. By that time the doctors confirmed it was a kidney stone. The CAT Scan showed that the stone was almost done traveling and that he would feel better soon. Whew!

I noted a few things about myself during this (thankfully) small crisis;



1.) Watching someone I love in extreme pain is almost worse than experiencing it myself.



2.) I'm grateful for my efficiency and my ability to think clearly during an emergency.



3.) I realize how deeply bonded and connected I am to Bill. I was scared utterly shitless at the thought that something bad could happen to him.



4.) Watching others in crisis at the emergency room reminded me of the horrible pain and suffering that comes with just living life and loving others.



5.) There is a time to live and a time to die. Today is our time to live and enjoy and have as much fun as possible! So I'm finishing this post now to go play with my baby.


4 comments:

capello said...

oh, i'm so glad he is okay. that sounded so very scary.

futuregirl said...

It's wonderful that he's alright. I recently had to take my husband to the emergency room for something that turned out alright, too. I experienced all the things you did. I was focused and freaked. Love is an awesome thing.

Nina said...

I felt alarmed just reading the first paragraph. I am glad Bill is better. I didn't know a kidney stone could cause such a reaction.

Citcat chocked on a piece of banana this weekend. It really scared us. I feel grateful everyday that my dear little family is safe and healthy. I worry too much.

I hope you had a lovely day with Annie. Thanks for the reminder to enjoy life.

Mamita said...

Since I have kidney stones that is the first thing that came to mind! Oh, I am so glad he is okay. It is the most incredibly painful sickness to experience.

Your daughter is very beautiful.